Caspian XI
by PixieXW
Summary: A one shot- longer if I get some ideas- after The Next Four Months- the reason Rowan is not a Caspian...
1. Chapter 1

(A/N) ok so this is a one shot- it would maybe get longer if I had any ideas. I am introducing a character that I made up in my mind but never felt the need to fully introduce- their wasn't much of a story about him other than he survived. His parents would have been 32 and 33 by the time he came along but way hay Caspian got a son. I'm kind of going through a mad period at the moment where Caspian is much more my favourite character- considering I only saw VDT last year I never really knew the awesome person he could be so if I write any other stuff around this time it'll probably be centred around him. (Btw dyk Caspian X/I of Telmar and Narnia, James X/I of Scotland and England)

"Mummy!" I was startled awake by the voice of the seven year old in the next room across. It was cold, freezing. The ice cutting at the stone floor of the castle. Twenty- two years to that day we had been back in my wife's true home. The twins had been babies. I could barely remember them being babies now at twenty three they were fast becoming young women. I remembered Susan's sad tears when they had first been fitted with corsets, the idea of our little ones being so grown up.  
My feet were beginning to turn to stone due to my wife having mummified herself in a fur knitted blanket and the woollen sheet underneath, took up almost all of them. She was too peaceful to be moved, one hand wrapped tight in the fur blanket and the other slung over her stomach.  
I traced my fingers down her face, over the permanent creases that had grown by her eyes and down on her cheeks. The way her piercing eyes had become glassy and tiered from so much worry and the need to hide it. My fingers walked down her neck and over her less refined collar to her limp, flat breasts over to her waist which didn't hold the sharp angle it once did. Her belly which could be held in small handfuls and was visibly scarred from her skin constantly stretching with each child. My fingers continued to her hips which creaked and groaned and caused her much pain when she moved. So much pain over the years. And that was without the pain in her heart and mind, the secrets our people would never know. She couldn't give out the information on her lost family, on our lost children since rarely she showed before they passed on to be with their grandparents.  
Today the girls returned.  
They had been let loose into the world to discover how it worked, to discover their places, fears and desires. To prepare for their futures as Queen, to prepare for marriage and children of their own.  
Age sneaks upon you far sooner than is imaginable at times, I remembered being the same age as my young daughters and since their mother gave birth to them at sixteen years, I was sure she remembered that age too. I let my hand slide gently up her body to rest between her breasts.  
She mumbled something in her sleep as she used to. Still after nearly twenty five years I could never work out a single word of what she'd said, she just muttered to herself and anything that could be made out normally revolved around general things- nothing could make Susan spill her secrets. I moved a little closer to her, nose nearly touching her neck, and listened. I could hear the same amount of nonsense flutter from her lips. I sighed and committed that I wouldn't learn those secret thoughts today or probably any other day.  
"Cas, your breathing down my neck." Her voice came clear and bright as if she'd been awake for ages. I laughed,  
"Why you little minx!" She smiled back, nudging me so she could turn slowly onto her back. I saw the pain visibly etched into her face, one of the two pains Genevieve had left us with three years ago. The pain would never leave her now just like that angel child would never leave her heart.  
Eventually she managed to settle on her back in a painless position. She pushed her head into my chest, nudging at me like a child needing fed.  
"Your warm, I like it. " I laughed, letting my voice drift away absorbed by the secretive walls. We lay in silence, listening to the sweetness of nothing and no one. The noise of content.  
"What will they think? When they return. Do you think they'll want to leave us, go off with their own princes and have their own babies- I don't want them to get to that. I want them- as horribly selfish as it is- I want them to stay our babies forever."  
Susan mumbled, playing with a strand of my hair with her eyes trained unfocused on the ceiling.  
"We are always their parents- it won't matter what happens Susan they will always need our guidance."  
I wished I'd had that, the guidance of a Father and Mother. My father more though, a boy needs a man to teach him about the world. I hadn't even known how to bring my wife into the world of motherhood because I had no Father to teach me. Sometimes I was glad of a boy just so I could be the Father I wanted all my boyhood. I tried to do all their was for my daughters, taught them all I could and both had became handy with a short sword and could easy read any map. Once they reached the beginning of womanhood I became lost. I worried about the way they hunched over there clothes for a while and their shifty look around people, the transformation of their bodies had made a huge effect on their minds.  
There mother had explained how she had spent much of one summer with a friend and came back home no longer with the flat-chested figure of a child. She had been terrified of people watching her- the first impression Peter had given when he was unable to not look didn't help settle her mind- and she had hunched like that, crossing her chest and wearing lose fitted clothes. She explained the pain they felt when first they bled as all women do. Susan could tell them all they needed to know and give then comfort and the father became a stranger. My girls were not innocent and happy to show their petticoats off to the world if they were climbing trees or laughing during a tickling match. They had distanced me and I missed my little girls.  
"Mummy," Rowan called again, I glanced down at the girl beside me who had opened one tiered eye and shook her head,  
"Before sunrise he's Your son," and curled further into her blankets. "I thought you liked my warmth," I protested the ground would be slick with ice, rain having hit the corridors and battlements all night long. I didn't fancy gaining frostbite.  
"I'm sure I'll cope, go before he starts again."  
"What's it worth?"  
She cocked her head to one side, swivelling her bottom lip back and forward as she thought. She caught me by surprise, pushing her hand round my neck and pulling me on top of her, kissing me hungrily as her hand massaged my scalp. Eventually she let go, panting for breath. She laughed, blushing.  
"Will that do?"  
"I'm going," I sighed overly dramatic and climbing over her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
He pushed the model out slowly into the pool that lay just in the border of Cair Paravel's guarding arms. It was almost an entire replica I couldn't believe the ship when I first laid eyes on it. The wooden boat that now bobbed in the water was the image of the Dawn Treader, her dragon head and her mast, even the small steps that led up the dragons neck and the flag falling from her mast were perfect.  
Rowan had wished to see the ship that his uncle and I had sailed the oceans on but I could only show him paintings, since the real Dawn Treader was shattered years before his birth. I had the pond boat made for him by a faun, their talent with wood being infallible. Susan had tutted saying I spoiled the child. I knew she spoke the truth but I couldn't stop myself, I had a duty to him and his forefathers.  
I vowed many many years ago when I was only ten years old that when my wife gave me a son I would always love him, that he would complete my very world and I would never let anything happen to him. I used to feel betrayed by my own father for dying and leaving me to fend alone. I blamed him each time my uncle called me stupid, each time I dropped my sword or tripped over. I had been confused and angry as a boy and Rowan would not have that.  
His birth had been such a surprise, I had obviously been aware his mother expected another child but when he was born his cries were so strong they bounced of every wall in the castle. I didn't need Tibberus to come and announce him I had already heard the boy. We never expected he would live at all but he only got stronger, he guzzled down every meal and grew so much faster than his sisters had. We hadn't a clue how this had happened but somehow we had a strong and healthy son. Rowan Edmund Caspian. His eyes the depth of his Mother's like pools of frozen water, icy but warm once you got used to them. His hair contained little ripples like the shocks on a pond when a leaf hit the surface. He was so perfect, the best son I could have ever wished for.  
"Pater? Why do boats have names?" Rowan asked gently dragging the ship back and forth in the water, never looking up.  
As was often the case with young children I wasn't certain of the answer- children it appeared were good at asking those things that no body could answer.  
" I think so we can tell one boat from another, so we don't have to describe them. We can say the Dawn Treader or the Lygna rather than the talk ship with the canon aboard. Do you understand?"  
Rowan nodded,  
"And that's why people have names too?"  
It was my turn to nod. Rowan let go off the boat and let the water nymphs play with it, putting on a show with the boat dipping and diving through a storm as Rowan watched on amazed.  
I remembered sitting as he did now doing something similar in the grounds of my own childhood castle. I had wished for nymphs to play with. Children of the courtiers and those of the seven lords who went missing and even a boy name Ridious who was employed to play with me wouldn't. I was the lonely odd boy because I didn't want to fight, I didn't want to have jousting matches or race our ponies to their limits. I wanted to play pretend. I wanted to live in the works of old Narnia. I pretended my pony Fresco could speak to me, have him a personality and a favourite colour, even an imaginary family. I loved spending the time I could with my Nurse who played these stories with me, I was the High King Peter and she the gentle Susan. But she was sent away and I was alone. I cried in the imaginary arms of Queen Susan all night, most nights. She comforted me in my dreams and sang to me. Sometimes she became my mother, the mother I didn't really know but I could imagine. I pretended Queen Susan had been my Mother and King Peter my Father and that King Edmund and Queen Lucy were my brother and sister and that was how I thrived, how I spent each day of my life until I grew too old. Age can be a lonely thing.  
"Pater," Rowan stopped watching the boat to watch me instead, his deep caspy eyes looking up at me with some sadness. Something I hated to see in any blue eyes.  
"Yes Rowan, lad,"  
"Why is my name not Caspian?"  
I was surprised, he knew the history, he knew his telmarine roots and still he asked.  
"If it is your name and my grandfather's and even my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather's name. Why is it only my middle name?" He looked genuinely troubled, his mouth open slightly in the expression his mother wore when she was thinking.  
"Can I tell you a story Rowan, a story that will explain everything?" He nodded abandoning his boat as she floated alone in her small ocean and crawled closer to where I say on the grass.  
"Many years ago, in the year 1998 the first Caspian became king. He was known as Caspian the conquerer, do you know why?"  
Rowan shook his head not wanting to waste precious story time on talking.  
"Caspian I was named that because he led an army into Narnia and he killed many people here All the talking animals and dryads and griffins- every creature you can name- all put up a fight to protect the king of Narnia and all their wives and all the children but they were not strong enough. The telmarines killed their children and captured their Fathers and rap- eh, did preposterous things to their wives. Caspian I took over Narnia, he banished all the creatures, any who were found were to be killed."  
Rowan looked horrified, scared but not too scared I hoped, still my message didn't get through.  
"Things didn't change as time continues onwards, from Caspian I to Caspian II to Caspian VIII. Then Caspian IX read some books that were forbidden and he discovered something the telmarines had hidden for many years, "  
"What was it Pater? What did he find?"  
"My Father, your Grandfather discovered the stories, he heard of talking beasts and walking trees and the Kings and Queens of Old. And he knew these were not just stories but he was helpless, with only one dwarf, a friend of his wife's, known to him he could not help old Narnia. His brother killed him while his wife was with child. She had a son and later died.  
"Sadness and anger rose in Caspian X , he became horrified at the world but he took the actions his father couldn't. Caspian X became king or Narnia and Telmar, bringing those who once hated each other together, the Narnians trusted him as their king but he would never be a true Narnian.  
"But Rowan, the time of change came about again- just as it had in the year 1000. In that year High King Peter I was crowned along with High Queen Susan I, King Edmund I and Queen Lucy I. King Frank I began Narnia many years before them also, do you see the pattern Rowan?" He slowly nodded his head, I watched understanding begin to cross his face until he grinned,  
"They were all the first,"  
"Yes, just like you will be King Rowan I. You are not Caspian XI because you, my son will change things, you have already brought peace to Narnia and you will keep that peace. You are different, you are special- for that reason you are better than any Caspian."


	2. Chapter 2

"Argh!" Rowan shrieked, jumping away from a low shrub amongst a clump of large oak trees. I felt my skin prickle at the sound, horror whipping quickly through my veins.  
Rowan ran back towards me, placing his hands on my hip, hiding behind me. My heart slowed as soon as I saw the danger.  
A small brown adder slowly slithered out across the rough ground from one set of roots to another, continuing happily on its way.  
"It's alright Rowan, the little fellow won't hurt you."  
Rowan looked surprised with his mother's bright eyes.  
"It's alright, just a little grass snake- he doesn't want to hurt you."  
"You're sure?"  
"Yes. I promise a snake will never hurt you unless you hurt him."

We returned to the inner courtyard beyond where my old home had a draw bridge and iron gates and I was met instantly by a young girl, a capuchin monkey named Brigna, who was the apprentice to Tibberus. She bobbed a curtsy and then began to speak in a rushed tone,  
"Your highness', you may wish to visit the Queen unaccompanied in her quarters- Tibberus advises she may wish for some company." And then she was off. Rowan looked confused, I felt confused. Why would Tibberus have advised it, was there something wrong?  
I quickly ushered Rowan back to the Nursery with his boat and promised I would come to see him for a while before his sisters arrived home. I hated disappointing him, I had promised the lad we could have the day to ourselves, just for us boys before his sisters returned. He was used to this disappointment, much to my dismay it wasn't uncommon for plans to change and sometimes I wished we could be simply Narnians without the royal aspect, so the children could have been children for longer, spent more time with us. If they had however they would've been more aware of their Mother's pains.

(Susan)  
I was wrong. This was wrong I shouldn't have done it. I felt the burning expanding pain as my body complained and protested. It tried to fight against what I'd tried to do to myself but it had already lost; I was already beginning to bleed.  
I thought about what had been before, that I'd jumped into action far too quickly. I remembered before, when Rowan had been growing inside me. The happy days when he was strong and large and healthy. The days where important meetings were almost abandoned by Caspian's need to rub away the practise pains that raked my body. The days when the girls were filled with curiosity, the days of a chubby baby with dimples and fat feet. I wished I could have those days back. I missed Caspian's secretive grin and the spring to his step, knowing something that only we did. I missed the butterfly feelings but I couldn't take the risk again. I wanted things to go well but I knew they couldn't. I knew it was necessary.

(Caspian)  
"Susan," I gently knocked on the door of our quarters- I could hear her tears through the door. She cried, sniffling like a child in total despair I had never heard her like this. She didn't reply and I stepped through the door. She paced the floor gracefully gliding like a swan across a lake, her hands were poised over her rounding stomach. I believed she wasn't aware I knew yet but with each baby she grew quicker, showing much sooner than she had in the past. I watched as her hands suddenly gripped into her dress and she bit her lip, blood beading on the pink skin as she tried to prevent herself from making a single sound. Her face was white but her cheeks flushed and tear stained. Her hair swept back in the rough updo she called a pony tail. She looked ragged, ill. Something was happening to her body, she must have a sickness but why, then, did she call me here? I didn't understand, only the sorrow in her eyes was connecting with me, the sorrow of a traitor.  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she croaked out, water flooding her face, her eyes lay dead in their sockets.  
"What is it?" I asked, using the same soft voice as I used when speaking to a frightened child. I crossed the room, went to parcel her in my arms, let her hide from this.  
"No." She stepped away from me.  
"What?" I asked. Shocked, something was very wrong.  
"Susan, what is it?" I tried again, reaching out to touch her hand but she pulled back, taking an obvious step away from me. Her eyes were stoney and defiant for a split second before tears coated her face again. She cried and grabbed at her stomach,  
"What's wrong?" I tried again, being stronger trying to force my voice through her crying to make her hear. She handed me a cup, a porcelain one and continued to cry.  
"I'm sorry," she wailed. I took the cup from her shaking hands and looked at the green liquid sloshing inside. It looked like tea but the smell was nothing like it. She saw the lack of recognition and shook her head in despair,  
"It's silphium."  
"What?"  
"I," she continued to sob but began to take more control. She stood straighter, looking up at me but her eyes were pained, miles from the girl I had curled around in the early morning.  
"I couldn't do it again, I know how foolish I was-"  
"Just tell me," I was aware I was becoming cold. Something felt wrong.  
"Caspian, it's dead. The child."  
I watched her fingers spider over her belly. She was so cool. I glanced at the green stuff in my hand, let it drop, slip to the floor and shatter. It mirrored my temper.  
"What? That, that vile stuff, you killed out baby! You, Why? Why would you do such a thing? Susan! Speak to me!"  
I grabbed hold of her shoulders giving her a rough shake. She rattled emotionless and I let her go. Force knocking her back, making her stagger for a step or two.  
"Cas, plea-"  
" No! You, your a, a Murderer!" She reached out with one hand, a gold band glittering on her finger.  
"Don't touch me!"  
She saw it on my face, she saw my anger and horror. She knew,  
"Please Caspian, please. I'm so sorry I didn't, I didn't."  
I shook my head, welling anger boiled. I went straight for the door.  
"Where are you going?" She begged,  
"Away from you!"

(Inara)  
"What do you think they'll say?" Diara asked me, she sat awkwardly on her white mare, Snowfire. Her stomach was clearly more than filled with a big meal. I could see it, mum would definitely notice. I hoped for Di's sake that Dad didn't. He would be furious, Di fornicating and ending up fuller than she used to be. The boy had been handsome, I guessed, he was a local from Galma. He was muscular and a charmer but Di didn't see that, she thought she loved him- he wasn't interested and now she was expectant.  
"I think that Pater will have you murdered. Mum? I don't know for sure,"  
She sighed deeply, her spine collapsing a little more where she sat. The castle appeared through the trees and the lights were on. The castle looked empty, no one was waiting for us. Not a single person was waiting on us, not even Mum and Pater.  
"Something's wrong," Diara suggested,  
"I think we have need to hurry your majesty," Snowfire suggested, picking up speed. I agreed,  
"Yes, come on Sapien," Sapien snorted and trotted after her friend.

Entering the gates Glenstorm's eldest son greeted us, bowing low,  
"Your Majesties,"  
"Where are they all?" I asked, noticing that Diara came up on the other side of me trying to hide her belly.  
"His majesty went out a few hours before dusk, her majesty has not been seen and the young prince is with Brigna,"  
"Thank you." We abandoned the horses, letting them find their own way home and disappeared up to find Mum. Sighing at our lovely welcome home I climbed the stairs and went in search of what on earth was going on.  
"What's going on?" Di hissed catching up with me.  
"Aslan knows, you don't think they've fallen out over something?" Diara nodded,  
"They never fall out but, remember the last time?"  
I nodded, I definitely remembered the last time they had really fought.  
We had been younger, almost fifteen, and Pater had been furious about something. We didn't know what but the voices got louder and more vicious. I had lost my nerve and ran to Diara's quarters for comfort. We'd sat in her bed listening to their tongues clash like broadswords. Di had been worried for mum he was very heavy with Rowan at the time and stress wasn't good for her.  
That was when we heard the clatter. We thought for a second Pater had done something, would he really hit her? We had ran from our rooms and down the corridors, our hearts straining from our chests and minds whirling.  
We had known, deep down, Pater would never hurt her. She had almost fallen whirling round at the top of the stairs and he had just managed to grab her, holding her hard against his body. They made up then and there, kissing in a way that had my stomach churning.  
Pater didn't disappear last time, maybe this time it was different. Sometimes their love was sickening but they deserved each other needed each other as much as they needed to disagree.  
This was different.


	3. Notes!

Sorry but the endless notes strike again!

I am scut rentals working on changing the last chapter- it hadnt even close to the impact I had hoped for and I have Someone giving me help and advice on the matter. The next chapter will be sad, very sad and I'm so sorry for doing this but it had to be done I wanted to stick with the original story lines as much as possible so those who've read the silver chair you might want to think about Susan's fate


	4. Chapter 3

(A/N) before you read this I have changed a bit in the last chapter so it would probably be in your interest to read that bit again before you read this. I hope you enjoy this chapter and have the tissues ready for the next chapter...! Heeheehee

(Caspian)  
Even with a quick shave and a hooded cloak I knew they all recognised me. Nobody approached, they let me sit, sipping a pint of ale and wallow in my grief. The anger passed, it only fizzed, smouldering at the back of my mind. How could she? I knew she'd killed, I'd seen her kill people many times before but this, this was strange and odd and cold-hearted. She wasn't cold hearted she was a mother. A mother who could fathom destroying her own baby. It was sickening, she had killed a child, only the night before I'd been curling my hands around her growing belly, massaging her skin and making her sigh in appreciation and bliss. Then she'd killed it. I felt betrayed, I felt as though I didn't even know this wicked, wicked girl. If she had killed my child did I mean as much to her? Did she really love me? If she had expelled my creation from her body, going against the will of Aslan then had she done so before, had she lied when she took her vows? Was anything real? Or was she another Miraz, someone who pretended to care so they could get their own ways.  
But no, she was always there, she cared and loved and kissed and copulated. If she had not loved me she would not have lain with me to become with child as often as she did. A simple kiss wouldn't have lead to the sighs and appreciative noises she made which had my skin buzzing. She wouldn't have wrapped her hand into me hair and kissed me in front of the whole country. She wouldn't have been delighted to announce her second pregnancy, she wouldn't have sat in my lap and let me the rub the expanse of her belly, she wouldn't have clung to my shirt in years, wouldn't have let me wash her womanhood and thighs of blood during her sickness after Guinevere. She loved me. So why?  
I looked around the small tavern, a young woman snuggled into the side of an older male. She was dressed scantily, the tops of her breasts visible (though not as full as Susan's) her shoulders bare and her delicate collar bone clearly etched. She wasn't as thin as she maybe would have been. Even she didn't take to silphium. What life would that child have? That babe she bore would have no Father, no food to eat, nobody would comfort it when it cried alone at night.  
Rowan had both of us for most of his life and before that the girls had had us both. For a short time when Susan was ill I was their sole carer they missed her and I struggled to do it alone. She had been so ill, her pelvis shattered by the labour that lasted days and unable to move for a good time afterwards. Would she have done all that if she didn't love me?  
It crossed my mind how much she had suffered, how much pain that had caused. I remembered her screaming through day and night for three long days as she gave birth to Guinevere. I remembered the constant rush of medics and healers, the fear on the faces of our little girls. Susan suffered extreme agony, her pelvis had cracked and creaked and cordial had been needed once more but it didn't heal fully. She couldn't feel her legs at all, was unaware of her bladder or the bleeding that always followed a birth. To top it off our baby girl was dead, blue when she entered the world and swiftly became white. Susan had suffered all that pain she had been scared as Rowan became clear, crying as her belly grew to an extraordinary size. She hadn't wanted to do it again, she was too scared of another Guinevere. Maybe she was scared once more.  
I knew that most women were beyond childbearing by Susan's age- their terms stopped coming she had told me- but in her world women could bear children for longer. She was getting tiered, she was scared and she had done something foolish as we all did from time to time. She was sorry and I had pushed her away. I had hurt her even if he had caused me pain, even if she had betrayed and failed to obey me as she should.

(Inara)  
I knocked on the door before entering my mother's room and then turned on Diara,  
"Di maybe you shouldn't come- I don't think now is the time to tell her she's a grandmother."  
Diara nodded,  
"I'll check on Rowan, make sure he's ok."  
Mum didn't answer so I pushed the door open very slowly. She was sitting on the floor, her legs stretched out in front of her, the skirt of a light dressed was stained the awful brown of dried blood, the whole of the dress was drenched. Her fingers also caked in the fluid, metallic liquid sunk into her fingernails. Her cheeks were stained red and her eyes looked pained; they were lost, totally empty. She held a tiny thing in her arms wrapped in a course blanket. She bounced the thing in her arms even though it made no sound, no movement.  
Another miscarriage?  
"Mum?"  
She laughed in an attempt to be normal, an attempt for everything to be alright.  
"A girl again, it's always the girls."  
Her voice made me feel very uneasy, this wasn't right, she should've been crying. She should've been with Dad.  
"Mum?"  
She burst into tears, biting her lip hard. She was trying so hard not to make a scene, to stay in control but she couldn't.  
"Mum, where's Pater? What's wrong? Please speak to me."  
She just shook her head, tears falling on the hideous creepy thing she held.  
It was the tiniest baby I'd ever seen, it's face was perfect it had fused eyelids and it was totally hairless. It's skin was almost red and translucent, with a huge dark bruise covering its chest, it's cord was full, placenta and all still attached and wrapped in the blanket with her.  
I tried to take the baby from her but her hands gripped like a vice and she shook her head. She didn't speak just shook her head.  
" I want to name her first, she needs an identity, she needs to know I was wrong. I was so wrong."  
"Mum?" She took a deep breath and looked up at me,  
"There are some bad things in this world Nara and I don't think you should know about these things until you experience them. Know I did a bad thing, your Father has every right not to return."  
I stood up and left the room, going in search of Di, I hadn't a clue what we could do for Mum, we needed someone else to help her.  
Rowan was dressed in his night shirt, padding around his room and pointing his wooden sword at Diara pretending to kill her.  
"Nara!" He ran to me, letting the toy clatter to the ground and jumping up. He pushed his legs around my waist, not caring that his bare bottom was on show to the world. He leaned into my ear and whispered,  
"Diara's going to have a baby." I glared at my sister, why on earth would she tell Rowan?  
"And Mummy is too," he began, speaking louder for Diara to hear,  
"Pater told me that her tummy is getting bigger and she is going to start to get tired and a bit grumpy." Rowan hadn't know her to be that pregnant before. Pater must have felt the need to explain things to the youngest before they got too obvious. I thought back to Mum's stomach, it must have flattened a little since the baby was passed but she was still easily expectant to an outsider.  
" Rowan?"  
"Yes,"  
" I need to speak to Diara, go and get in your bed and see how much of your book you can read before Pater comes home," he nodded, glad of a competition and practically shooed Diara from the room to get a good start.  
"I didn't tell him, he guessed," Diara groaned as soon as we were out of earshot.  
"Well I'm not surprised. Mum's had another baby. A miscarriage but she's holding it Di, she said that 'our father had every right not to return',"  
"We need Uncle Peter."  
"Agreed."

(Caspian)  
I returned home as the rain began to lash down, praying that Susan would forgive me. I should have thought, but we all made mistakes, all did things we regretted and I begged she would see it that way.  
I thought about how my Wife had changed, I thought of the times I had been forced to leave her and sort disagreements and how happy she had once been. Perhaps I had brought this on her but perhaps it was Aslan's will, he was testing us to prove out bond. The Cair was still lit brightly but I assumed Susan must have gone to sleep, crying with the pains a miscarriage brought- I'd heard them many a time. I heard hooves on the draw bridge and was met by Winternow's saddened expression, the hope gone from the Centaur's eyes.  
"You look disappointed? Is something the matter, did the girls not return."  
Venom slowly slithered up through my veins, infecting my resolved emotions and making my heart thump.  
"No, my liege, that is not the issue that stands. I had expected her majesty instead your highness."  
The venom spiked my heart,  
"Susan? What happened?" I felt ice take effect numbing me, frosting my voice.  
"Her Majesty went out for a walk before dusk. The girls returned on time. Her location was only brought to my attention when Brigna couldn't find her."  
"Where did she head?" I asked already turning, in the forests alone having just bled profusely, this was not the sensible Susan I knew. She could do anything with a mind taken over my grief. I had heard stories, my  
Father had almost destroyed himself after my Mother's death due to grief.  
"We don't know sire."  
I had Destrier tacked and found the forgotten elektrisity torch of King Edmund and headed out into the rain.

(Diara)  
Oh Mum. What had happened to her? Inara had almost cried- and my little sister was not known for that- when she came into our bedroom. I was already wearing a nightdress that was too short around my belly.  
"Well?" It jumped from my throat in an almost spiteful way,  
"Pater came home. He's taken Destrier and gone to look for her.  
"Did?"  
"Yes, Uncle Pete told me. Mum,"  
Inara paused and came to sit beside me on my bed.  
"Mum killed the baby. She took a poison that would kill it, she didn't want to do it but she didn't want to risk burying another body. Once she started to get bigger she panicked and asked Brigna to help her."  
"Because Tibberus wouldn't?" My twin nodded,  
"Tibberus said if our Father's seed had planted then it was to be allowed to grow and that Mum would be messing with Aslan's work."  
Silence slinked into the room.  
"What did Pater do?"  
"He was angry, he stormed off, she was upset. The baby was a baby Di, it had a full body and fingers and all. It was even a girl."  
Inara hugged her knees and bit her lip- a habbit she picked up from Mum.  
"She called her Penitence- a regret for the bad thing she did- and put her in the cradle. Peter left for just a second and then she had gone, out for a walk."  
I looked around our room, it's big window and creamy walls. A tapestry hung on the wall. 'My girls' Pater had christened it.  
"Mum will come back?"  
"Of course, Pater will find her. She just needs to think, she walks when she thinks."  
"Yes, your right, Pater will bring her home. "


End file.
